Cultivating Courage. Why?

May 25

Have you ever felt alone in.....

Motherhood
Self Doubt
Shame
Judgement towards yourself
Farm Life
Anxiety
Health issues
Depression
Hardships
the list could go on and on.

I have felt all of these things in my 12 years as a farm wife and 9 as a mother. More so after Motherhood.

I remember evenings sitting in tears getting dressed for a night out hating how I looked.

I remember feeling paralyzed by my anxiety. Unable to breathe let alone move.

I remember feeling so lost, pissed off and in the pits of bitterness throughout years of drought.

I remember not praying for an extended period of time because I was an orphaned spirit that didn't feel worthy of blessings.

I remember doubting my body and my mental health struggling through hormone issues.

I remember lying to my friends saying I was fine when really I felt like I was drowning in it all.

I remember these because they were so hard. and real.

"Hard doesn't equal bad."
@caitlin_a_henderson spoke to my heart this past weekend. Our callings aren't always about us. And when I saw how many women poured into this room I was so humbly reminded of my calling.

I have so many words for Cultivating Courage but what I left with after stand for my sister was, we really are never alone. And we never know what anyone is going through, ever.

EVERYONE feels these things and more, and we hide behind them due to shame, fear or really because it's just freaking hard to talk about and get off our chest.

But I want you to know you aren't alone.
In any of the stuff life throws your way.

Open up: to your husband, friend, a therapist, a stranger. Just open up and drop your bricks friend, those things that weigh you down do not define you and shouldn't be allowed to be a stronghold in your life anymore.

Change IS possible.
But it starts with you.
and you can do hard shit.

To all my CC sisters. I stand with you always in every struggle and hardship. I will pray over each woman that stood for such hard things to admit to 300 strangers.